The Final Chapter -- October 6, 2011

This is hard to share, but since we began this journey, I also want to but in the final chapter of her recovery.

I brought her home to Austin yesterday, and she was settled in around 3:00 pm. After everyone left, I took her hand and told her that she is now home. She squeezed my hand ever so lightly, and a smile appeared in the corner of her lips. She knew...

Hospice wasn't able to get pain medication for us until quite late, so she was having pain. About 9:50 the nurse gave her her first dose (.5 cc) of pain medication, but it seemed to not ease the pain a whole lot. At this point, she no longer spoke, but every breath was a groan. I felt so sorry for her, standing helpless by her side, holding her hand. When the nurse left, she said that in a half hour I can give her another does (.5cc), but if the pain still doesn't subside, I have to wait for an hour before giving her more. I gave her some more at 10:25, but she was still in pain. I was almost beside myself knowing I have to wait for another whole hour. Finally at 11:30 I gave her another dose, and that seemed to help some, but about every third or fourth breath was a still a groan. She was turned so that she was facing the ceiling fan/light, and all at once it dawned on me that the light bothered her. I turned on a small reading light, and turned the ceiling light off. That seemed to help some more, but she still was moaning. I finally knelt by her side, took her hand, and prayed that G-d would ease her pain. I kissed her hand, told her good night, and that I love her. She gave me an ever so light squeeze, and she was quiet. I stayed by her side for another 10 or so minutes, and then decided to take a nap.

At 1:30 I woke up and went to check on her, and she was breathing like she had been for several days...short labored breaths. I watched her for a while, and then went back to bed. At 4:30 I again went to check on her, and at that time her breathing was very shallow, with a deep labored breath every so often. I remembered the hospice nurse telling me that this usually happens during the later stages in their sleep. I watched her for a while, and then went back to take another nap. Just a couple minutes before 5:30 I woke up suddenly, and went out to the living room where she was. I had put our hickory rocking chair beside her so I could sit right there. I reached down and took her hand, and held it for a while. All at once I realized that I didn't hear her breathing, so I looked over at her face, and at that moment she took pone deep breath, and life had fled her.

She went very peacefully in her sleep, without as much as a struggle. I sat there in a daze, holding her hand as life fleeted out of her body. Finally after 10 minutes I called hospice and they came out and took care of everything from there.

Karen will never again experience pain. She was a beautiful lady, who inspired many. She would often say "I really enjoy talking to and encouraging people on Facebook." That was the hilite of her day. Many times during day she would call me and share what she had said to someone to encourage them....that was her call in life, even though she didn't feel she impacted that many lives. She loved life, and enjoyed spending time with her grand babies more than anything else.

Her journey and her recovery are now complete.

She will be greatly missed, but someday we will meet again, where we will never have to part again.

I love you Honey, and will miss you tremendously.